11 Tips for Navigating the Holidays Without Losing Your Chill

I love Thanksgiving and Christmas. I have so many sweet holiday memories and so many opportunities for joy, so I look forward to this season every year. Yet I also ache for the broken hearts that must endure the holidays with ripples of grief and hurt from a myriad of past trials and losses. This blend has planted a deeper appreciation for what I have, mingled with a desire to share that sweetness with others.

Whether you are diving into the holidays with great anticipation or aching dread, my hope and prayer is that these tips will allow for peace and joy to soak into every corner of your heart as you navigate this season.

1. Prioritize Prayer

Start each day with Jesus.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6-7

What an encouragement to have the first Person we talk to in the morning be the One who owns and directs every moment! When our hearts are full of concerns and plans and heavy thinking, bringing everything to Jesus helps us remember that we can trust Him to work everything to His glory and our good.

2. Set Realistic Expectations

Plan within your capabilities.

For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Luke 14:28

So often we create grandiose ideas, building up our expectations of how everything will happen, from the multi-course meal to the extensive decorations, to everyone’s conversations and attitudes. When we define our success and place our happiness in things we have no way of being sure of, however, we are bound to be disappointed. Instead, creating small, manageable goals and prepping them well will help avoid deflated dreams and bitterness.

3. Be Flexible

Accept that things may not go according to plan.

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9

Planning is wise and good and beautiful. It allows us to measure our moments and allocate our energy appropriately through the day. But we must remember that only the very best plan–God’s plan–will stand. And when we remember that His plan is a reflection of His character (good, perfect, and full of love for us), we can accept His redirection with joy and confidence.

4. Have a Backup Plan

Prepare for unexpected changes to reduce stress.

Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.' James 4:15

Just as we are to hold our hopes loosely, there is wisdom in being prepared to cover for the plans that end up breaking. For example, if you’re not sure you’ll be able to pull off the homemade garlic knots for dinner, a bag of rolls in the freezer can remove that stress, and making sure the car has a full tank of gas will eliminate that last minute stop before the candlelight service at church.

5. Limit Commitments

Be selective about engagements to avoid burnout.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. Ecclesiastes 3:1 

There are SO MANY good things to be a part of! Yet if we were to accept every holiday invitation, take on all the guests, do all the crafts, participate in all the ministries, etc. we would quickly run out of time and energy and enthusiasm. When we prayerfully sift through the good and commit only to the best, however, we can show up with excellence and grace.

6. Focus on Jesus

Keep Christ at the center of your celebrations.

Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Colossians 3:2

When our attention and purpose is Christ everything else will fade. Remembering that all our preparation is in celebration of Jesus, we can plan with joy. Remembering that our investments of time and energy are to worship him, we can work with reverence. And remembering that showing love to those around us is a reflection of the gospel, we can serve with hope.

7. Focus on Gratitude

Keep a running list of things you are thankful for.

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Whether you keep a journal, decorate your bathroom mirror with sticky notes, or hang thanks tags on your Christmas tree, visual reminders of the endless blessings God has given us can realign our attention when we are feeling discouraged or unsatisfied.

8. Reevaluate Screen Time

Make tech intentional.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us. Hebrews 12:1

Unless our screen time is deliberate, it is easy for us to lose time, purpose, and perspective, and we often miss out on occasions to bless those around us. Tech can be wonderful for information, connection, and intentional rest, but when left without boundaries, can passively eat away at our opportunities and joy.

9. Cultivate Beauty

Create an environment that reflects your faith.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right… Philippians 4:8

Intentionally placing beautiful things in our home can help reset our hearts from chaos to comfort. This could include scooching the laundry to the arms of the couch to place a throw pillow in the middle, collecting a few sprigs of the backyard tree for a bouquet in a cute mug, playing some favorite tunes (as background music or a dance party), or settling down with a cup of tea.

10. Share Your Faith

Use this time to share the message of Jesus with those around you.

Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. Mark 16:15

The Christian’s greatest mission on earth is to make disciples. When we are mission minded, our holiday preparations will be centered around the gospel, and we will be less likely to miss out on opportunities to showcase Christ. The turkey may burn, the tablecloth may be wrinkled, and Uncle Joe may have gotten stuck in the recliner, but if at the end of the day the good news is celebrated, the holiday is a success.

11. Close the Year with Hope

As the year ends, reflect on your spiritual growth and set goals for the coming year.

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? Isaiah 43:19

As we put the china away and vacuum up pine needles, cultivating a heart of hope can help ring in the next season with great expectation. True hope is founded on Jesus and His perfect love for us, and as we center our hearts on who He is and what He’s done we can enter the New Year with assurance that all He has perfectly planned will be beautiful and good.

Thanking God for the Stuff I Hate (Week 2)

(Continued from Thanking God for the Stuff I Hate: Week 1)

The secret to being thankful in and through hard circumstances is remembering who our God is: good, faithful, sovereign, and LAVISH in His love toward us.

If we can remember who God is, we will trust His hand when His blessings don't match our convenience or comfort.

If we can remember who God is, we can be truly THANKFUL both in and FOR the hard things.

Counting My Blessings Through November, Week 2

Originally shared via Facebook, 2021

---

#8 I am thankful for my forgetful mind, as it reminds me of how much I need the grace of others.

(Ironically I had forgotten to add a caption to this day's post.)

#9 I am thankful for my child's selfishness, for I have the great privilege of being an ambassador of God's heart to theirs.

I used to assume I'd have perfect children because I believed I would be a (nearly) perfect mother.

But then I realized that, in shepherding their hearts, my own was revealed and I more clearly realized my sinful state.

What a privilege to show my babies Christ! Yet neither my babies nor I would need Him, were it not for our sinful hearts. And in the revealing of our sin and the progression of sanctification lay the sweetest gift of all- in our growth is proclaimed His glory.

And so I see that every growing pain and stretch mark is infinitely worth it, simply because salvation in Jesus is sweeter than were I to never need saving.

#10 I am thankful for the threat of wildfires, for in my dread of potential loss, is spurred my hope in assured gain.

I grew up on the California coast, just a 15-minute walk from the ocean. Mornings were always dressed in a silvery cloak of fog, and the salty flavor of the Pacific was always whispering its presence.

When I moved to SoCal for college I traded redwoods for rattlesnakes, verdant greenery for 23 shades of brown, and the passing thought of tsunamis for the yearly impending doom of fire.

In fact, there was one year that I stood on the campus hill and watched that year’s wildfire circle the college on three sides, less than a mile away.

And now, living in NorCal, in the foothills of the Sierras, I annually repack my ever-ready go-bag, prep my vehicle for unplanned extended stays, and sleep lightly from May-October, in case an evacuation alert is sent through my cellphone.

The fear of fires has the potential of sucking the life out of me. AND YET.

Were Jesus to take my house, my home would still be in Him. Were Jesus to take my life, I will be alive in Him. Were Jesus to call my family home, my expectation of heaven would include their smiles.

And so, beyond the stewardship of proper preparation, I must choose: Will I place my attention on all I might lose on earth? Or on all that I will continue to gain in Christ?

#11 I am thankful for a multi-generational household, for the opportunity to practice humility is clearly seen in a shared kitchen.

I live with my mother-in-law.

Now that sentence right there is what we call Clickbait. It’s true but is not entirely accurate, and encourages others to click on those lingering three dots, to see if my situation matches the status quo. I am happy to report that no, I do not have the stereotypical mother-in-law who is forever critical, demanding, selfish, and rude.

I call her mom. And I like her a lot. We have a sweet relationship, and my husband never needs to choose between the two of us. She respects our marriage and I respect her insights. She encourages our parenting, and I appreciate her willingness to help raise the children as well.

Despite the fact that we like each other, however, we have very different ways of seeing the world. And I don’t know exactly how the magic of a household kitchen works, but those differences are seen most clearly in the context of buying and preparing food, cutlery and dish placement, and other expectations that seep into our individual worldviews from years of tradition and expectations. The kitchen is a place where two women could easily step on each other’s toes, and is a potential breeding ground for a lack of contentment, unless hearts are carefully and intentionally guarded.

Even though I have the sweetness of friendship tempering my interaction with mom, like with any relationship I am continually learning the art of communication, humility, and the over arching reminder that LOVE HOPES ALL THINGS. This is especially true in the context of the Church, where our bond with fellow Christians is Christ Himself, and He is love.

First Corinthians 13 paints the picture of what righteous love looks like, and in that passage we are told that love assumes the very best of others and their intentions. When I am humble, and when my desire to serve myself is set aside in order to hope all things, then whether I am inconvenienced by mom, my husband, my children, or by anyone else, in or out of the kitchen, I am then able to love them well. When I assume that my inconveniences were brought about by their very best of intentions, my heart is dressed in mercy and my response is clothed in hope.

If I were to plan a meal, create a grocery list, set a table, tweak a recipe, or any other kitchen job, and mom were then to make a suggestion, add an item, move a cup, add an ingredient, or do anything that I was not expecting, I should assume, because we share the same Jesus, that her action was spurred on by kindness. And wow- when you assume that what someone does was out of genuine care, not even an inconvenience can ruin your moment, much less your relationship.

And so, I will joyfully share a kitchen for as long as Jesus allows, for in learning to practice love (even when it means releasing personal preferences) I am daily learning to look more like Him.

#12 I am thankful for all our 17 million lonely socks, as I can better appreciate how Jesus preserves order in all things.

We have a box in our laundry room labeled with a picture of a sock and the words “Lost Soles.”

It doesn’t seem to matter how rigorous our laundry regimen is, odd socks continue to be the bane of my clothes washing existence. Even after instructing my children and training them to do their own laundry, they are constantly adding to and rooting through that sockie box.

I love order, I love structure, I love organization. You might not pick that up right away, however, when you to step into my home due to the overflowing bread basket, the inevitable cups on the counters, and the trail of projects left by creative kiddos. It would be so easy for me to lose my chill over silly socks, but instead I am choosing to use them as the reminders that we live in a broken, fallen world, due to its sinful state.

Yet our God is a God of order. He ordains all things and every moment obeys His will. My collection of single socks, instead of driving me up the wall, must drive me to worship.

As I do my best to steward that which God has entrusted to me, I will praise His ultimate command over all things. In his hand all things are held together, perfectly ordered, and perfectly showcasing His glory. Hallelujah!

#13 I am thankful for my lessening tolerance for wheat, as I am being trained to release the good things in favor of the best.

I recently purged my bookshelves and got rid of a lot of good books. I had previously ditched the titles that were not worth keeping around, but this tighter purge called for tighter parameters.

My goal is that, when my children reach for a book, they are met with excellence. I don’t want them to have to sift through “decent“ or “mostly good“ before they find a gem. I want only that which is wholly beautiful and entirely excellent to be on my shelves.

Now mind you, I have a personal library set aside from the general family library where I keep the books that I need for reference or future opportunities. But if someone were to judge my character by the spines on my bookshelf I want them to know who I am based on the books on general display.

In the same way, I want to purge my WORDS, that everything ugly is burned, and everything good is tempered, but everything excellent is on display.

I want to purge my THINKING, that nothing debased is allowed, good is always permitted, and excellence is intentionally pursued.

I want my THINGS, my ACTIONS, my ATTITUDEs, my HABITS, and every aspect of life to reflect the excellence of my Jesus.

If something is good, and yet I pursue it to the point of ignoring the best, that goodness has lost its worth, for having robbed me of that which is greater.

How have you purged GOOD from your life recently, in order to obtain the BEST?

#14 I am thankful for a poor night's sleep, for I am forced to rely on Jesus for my energy.

“There’s not enough time!”

That was my mantra for years. Then I realized how arrogant and sinful that was.

Imagine me, a created, finite being, complaining that the God of the universe did not allow me special privileges of extra hours in my day to accomplish that which I wanted to do, while negating His plan for me.

Jesus designed each day with a perfect amount of minutes with which we can fully obey everything he has called us to accomplish for that day. If I claim to have too little time, it is simply because I am prioritizing my will over His.

And, were I to look at my day and realize I have squandered my time in that which does not bring Jesus glory, I will have seen that I’d trampled on His gift of moments and used them to serve myself.

So then, I must say no to that which I deem as good in order to pursue whatever God’s best for me is, depending how He has ordained me to grow and to bring about His greatest glory in my life. Whether He calls me to service, ministry, dancing, caring for my body or my home or my family, to rest, to sing, or to do anything, His plan is the best plan, and it is only in seeking His heart that my plan will conform to His own.

(Reprinted from the backlogs of Social Media. As Jesus leads me to pursue a career in writing I am called to serve my readers with faithfulness and excellence. I have been stewarded with a sweet gathering of email friends, and to serve them well means I have the opportunity to strengthen my blogging skills as well as my Social Media presence. In that I am pulling my favorite Instagram posts, spiffing them up a bit, and sharing them here. For those who are receiving this post via email and would like to join my darling Insta family as well, you are invited to visit me HERE.)

Wordle & Worship (and a Free Download)

Husband: "Got it in three!"

Son: "What? No way! I'm on four."

Me: "Same here... Oh- yea, got it in four."

Son: "Ah! Double letter. That was rude."

Such is a typical morning conversation as we lean against the kitchen counters, phones in hand as we wait for our coffee to brew. Wordle, the 5-letter word guessing game, has taken over the world, and has become a part of our family routine, with the younger girls jumping in whenever they happen to be early risers.

As a homeschool mom I love learning through play, so when I saw the chance to expand vocabulary, assist in spelling, build up logic, AND include a "together activity" I decided I needed a way to make this game a bit more accessible for the kids. Hence this file!

Wordle has been a fun addition to our family building, and a neat way to connect with friends who also play. But there are days when either my brain is fuzzy or the word is extra tricky, and playing just isn't very fun. Having to guess your way through a word, using as much logic as possible, and still ending up with far too many options than the 6 guesses allow can be incredibly frustrating. According to my hasty Google search, Wordle has upwards of 12,000 guessable words, and 2,300+ solutions. There are so many words to choose from every day and SO many ways to get it wrong, yet there is still only one right answer.

As it is with the gospel... but with one major difference. Similarly, there is only one right answer for salvation, and that's Jesus. But unlike Wordle, we don't have to guess as to how to reach Him. Jesus is proclaiming Himself and welcoming us to Him, no guessing required. If we confess with our mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in our hear that God raised Him from the dead we will be saved! Our only right answer for heaven is Jesus and He has offered Himself freely. And that is worthy of worship!