Peace Under Pressure

It was nearly time for the final push. I knew it. My body knew it. The baby knew it.

We were finally here.

I gripped Jason’s hand tighter and with a soft smile he ran his thumb over my knuckles. After so much danger, after so much pain, after so many broken hopes and losses we were finally at the end.

It had been 10 long months of surrendering this child to the Lord over and over and over, and God had revealed Himself in miraculous ways throughout every fear and heartache. We had learned so much about ourselves and our God. We had seen Him beautifully meet our every need and we had at last reached the end of this journey.

Or so I thought.

“Alright. Let’s see how we’re doing.” My nurse lifted the edge of the sheet and skillfully inspected the results of the last contraction. “Oh!”

I saw my nurse’s eyes get wide as she hunched towards me. I felt a pressure as she leaned into the baby, though the epidural from thirty minutes before dulled any pain. She hit the call button and called for the OR to be prepped, and climbed onto the bed with me.

She straddled my legs and attempted to shift the sheet around my lower half, trying to maintain my dignity. Through it all her right hand was wrapped around my unborn child’s head, deft fingers lifting the prolapsed umbilical cord from my baby’s neck where it had begun to twine, attempting to keep my precious little girl alive.

“Okay, hun, so we have a few things happening all at once. The umbilical cord was delivered before the baby and your contractions are squeezing it so that the baby is not able to breathe. It’s also wrapped around her neck and I’m unable to get it unbound. We’re going to need an emergency C-section in order to save her. You can do this. Do you understand?”

By this time we were surrounded by several people in scrubs and they started wheeling us out of the room and down the hall.

My husband was still holding onto me and he squeezed my fingers in a reassuring grip. We looked at each other and we knew: we had surrendered this baby to Jesus, and were He to take her from our care we would trust Him still.

I took a deep breath, looked at my nurse and said, “I’m good. I understand. Um, do you mind if I sing? It’s encouraging and calming to me.”

She laughed in surprise. “You do what you need to do!”

“Amazing grace, how sweet the sound…”

As I softly sang I felt tears well up and stream from my eyes. Yet there was peace. Absolute, stunning, beautiful peace. The lights in the corridor were flashing, code blues were being called out, and the urgent voices of the six personnel around my rolling bed continued.

“You! Come with me.” Another nurse had grabbed Jason and he gave my hand one last squeeze. He and the nurse followed the procession, breaking off into a room next to where I was wheeled in order to get washed and scrubbed.

“Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fear relieved…”

I was taken to a brightly lit room with trays and tables and shining instruments already prepped. In the hubbub of bustling people I heard someone near my head say, “On three. One, two, three!”

They lifted me from the hospital bed into the operating table, my nurse still sitting on my legs. My hair was swept from my face and a blue cap was placed on my head.

“The Lord has promised good to me, His Word my hope secures…”

A curtain was strung up at my chest and I felt someone grab my hand. Looking up to the right I found Jason smiling down at me. His little blue hat made him look like a concerned Bob Ross, and I smiled back at him. He held my gaze for the next several minutes, while the world turned around us at a dizzying speed.

Seven minutes later there was a cry, several shouts of victory, and shortly thereafter a little bundle was placed on my chest. I couldn’t see her face, but I bent my neck and nuzzled her head. I think I cried. I know Jason did. And it was beautiful.

Remembering Auna’s Birth (October 6, 2014) Christin Hunt

Confidence

Do you enjoy a regular morning beverage? Do you have a favorite mug/cup you use? Why is it special to you? The one pictured here is precious to me...

When my middle turned nine her grandma took her out birthday shopping. In addition to a few sweet gifts for herself, my daughter came home with an additional little bag.

Our anniversary is one week after her birthday and she had not only remembered that fact, but chose to spend her own birthday money to buy presents for me and Jason.

Knowing that coffee is a sweet treat for me, and that I regularly spend my early mornings writing, she decided that the “coffee in one hand, confidence in the other” quote was the perfect saying for me.

On a very vulnerable note, it has only been very recently that I have felt any confidence in my writing. Thanks to a rich homeschooling background I knew I didn’t stink at it (thanks, mom!) but I had a hard time believing that I actually had something worth sharing.

But I knew Jesus had called me to use words to His glory. And as Alice Crider said, “If God has called you to write, then you are a writer.“

But even if I had 100 published works and was a regular on every bestsellersellers list, that is not where I am called to place my confidence.

My confidence must rest in my Rescuer Redeemer who has equipped and commissioned me to herald His heart to the world.

So as I sip and type, may my readers see not me, but the Greatest Author, for whom I write. 🌿

6 More Insights on Failures, Family, and Faith

🌿Six years ago I turned 30. It seemed momentous and grandiose, so I gathered up thirty thoughts about life, about time, about the future, about hopes, and fears, and how people would remember me when I'm gone.

🌿As it’s been over half a decade since that post, I figured I would add six more insights I have learned over these past few years in the same categories of Failure, Family, and Faith.

My 36-year-old self, usually sporting an apron and a squinty happy smile.

🌿I challenge you to do the same! What have you learned over the past years? Start with five key elements that have changed your perspective of the world, your understanding of God, and the way you interact with others. I would love to hear how you have been strengthened and grown!

Failures

1. The only time I have truly failed is when I was unwilling to try again.

2. Never organize your closet within an hour of your company arriving.

3. Clean out the fridge at least once a month, unless you enjoy uninvited science experiments.

4. Missing a payment is ok if it instills a greater understanding of responsibility.

5. Start a load of laundry before you're on your last pair of underwear.

6. Put toilet paper on your grocery list while you still have three rolls.

7. Never trust a credit card.

8. A messy home will not scare true friends.

9. Communication- verbal and nonverbal- is a dangerous tool. With one sigh you can either fell a man, or make him courageous.

10. If you are moved to contact someone, do it right away. It may be your last chance and, if you miss that opportunity, your heart will carry that burden for a very long time.

11. Take stock of that which you do in secret; most hidden things are either unhealthy or unhelpful. (Sometimes including sneaking snacks and muttering insults under your breath.)

12. Read books that are smarter than you are.Romance novels can encourage you to be incontent with real love, and fantasy may cause real life to feel like a burden.

13. The less you speak, the more people will listen when you have something worth saying.

14. Throw junk mail away as soon as it arrives, and purge paper piles weekly. Failing to do so may result in transporting moving boxes full of trash.

15. Time is precious, but it must not become more valuable in your heart than truth and grace. Be wise with your moments and purpose your days, but do not cage opportunities to spend extended hours pursuing rest, relationships, or healthy recreation. Eternity is impacted by both industry and laughter.

16. Surround yourself with people you aspire to emulate. If you see someone living the kind of life you want to be remembered by, then spend time with them and you will have made a wise decision.

17. Braces can be cute, talents areappreciated, dinners aren't always burnt; don't toss away a sincere compliment. A humble 'thank you' is a fitting response.

18. 'On sale' does not mean 'great deal,' and a fantastic price on something unnecessary is still a waste.

19. Glass shower doors and ovens only clean up easily if they've been recently maintained. Making hard things a habit will make them easier.

20. Wasted moments (including binging shows too late at night) are still redeemable if you learn to value your moments more.

Family

1. Children are willing to forgive, even before the apology. (“I already forgived you, mommy, because I always love you.”)

2. Before you share a concern with a loved one, make sure there are several hours before bed time.

3. A good night's sleep often quenches an argument before it even starts-- almost everything seems brighter with a new day.

4. Never be afraid to encourage someone to do the right thing.

5. Crying over spilt milk is ok if you pumped it yourself.

6. Alone time is good, as long as you're using that time to refocus thoughts and intentions to love others.

7. Raise children as you wish them to act 10 years in the future. My 7yo son must be trained in the respect I will demand of him as a teenager, and my 3yo daughter only wears that which will be appropriate when she's 13.

8. Remembering first steps is sweet; remember first prayers is rich.

9. It’s not enough to have married “the one.” You much decide your spouse is “the one” every day.

Faith

1. Love is an action. It is something I must capture each morning, knowing that my resolve to love will be tested, tried, and trampled upon. Love is not something that happens to me; it is a conscious commitment to seek another's best beyond my own comfort,even especially when it is not reciprocated.

2. Joy is a choice. As a child of God, a true follower of Jesus, I have the supernatural ability to maintain my joy, even when my world falls apart. In light of death, poverty, sickness, loneliness, chaos, and fear, I am able to choose joy. It is rarely easy, but it is always possible.

3. Faith is based on the unknown, trust is hinges on what we know. Faith is a gift. Trust is learned.

4. My joy and peace are directly proportionate to my closeness to Jesus. When I am close to Jesus- daily listening to Him speak through Scripture, and communicating my heart to Him in prayer- I have an amazing level of peace and joy in the midst of the most confusing times. When I am close to Jesus, I more easily trust that His plan is the BEST plan, and therefore am able to rest in my circumstances.

5. Hope only leads to disappointment... unless my hope is placed in a faithful source. Everything and everyone will disappoint, because everything and everyone changes. Except for Jesus. He is good. He is faithful. He is love. He is worthy. And He will hold my hope, will support my expectation, and will NEVER disappoint.

6. We may care about many issues, but we are not required to champion for all of them. Jesus calls me to be bold in truth, but if I do not have clear direction to advocate for multiple platforms, I must thus be faithful in this small arena He has equipped me for.

7. Worship isn't a choice. Whether I'm a Buddhist, atheist, Jew, Christian, or any other brand of religious bent, my very nature demands that I worship something or someone. Where I spend my time, money, and emotions will identify the object of my worship. Do I drop all my cash on Miss Me jeans? I may be worshiping trends or my pride. Is all my time spent burred in a historical fiction novel? I might be worshiping a false sense of love, or a projected dream of romance. Am I addicted to social media? I could be worshiping my popularity. If, however, I am unable to tear my thinking away from the grandness of God's love, or if get excited every time I think of sharing the gospel, or I'm moved to tears when I hear someone's testimony, then I might be worshiping the only one worthy: Jesus.